Rough Path
by starbright
Summary: [Completed]How are Abby and Carter getting on after everything that happened.
1. Chapter 1: Can This Be Real

**Disclaimer: I don't own ER**

**Rough Path**   
  
  
  
Summary: This takes place right after the last scene of the season finale. Can Abby and Carter mend their relationship after everything that has happened?   
  
  
  
  
  
**Chapter 1: Can This Be Real?**   
  
  
  
She felt his lips touch against her skin. It seemed so real, but she knew that it couldn't be. It had to be a dream, as he is half way across the world, saving lives in Africa, not here in Chicago. She didn't know when he was returning. Or if he was ever returning.   
  
  
  
I'm not going anywhere. She remembered when Carter made her that promise, when she was having all the trouble with Eric.   
  
  
  
I trusted him, I thought he wasn't going to be like everybody else in my life. But he did exactly what I was afraid he would do … He left.   
  
  
  
I want him to come home, I need him to come home. 

I haven't slept much since the day that he left, as all can think of is him. 

I don't even know if there is a we anymore, as we left on such a bad note. I think like we broke up with each other. He didn't even tell me that he was going to Africa. Would he have told me if I hadn't run into him that night? There was so much tension between us. I could tell that he wanted to tell me about his day, but he didn't. 

When did our relationship get to the point where we can't even talk to each other about a simple thing like that?   
  
  
  
I miss that. Can our relationship ever get back to normal?   
  
  
  
***

  
  
She sat up and saw that he was really there, it wasn't a dream. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, crying. 

"John.", she said as she put her hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him. 

He turned around to face her. He smiled at her, happy that he was home. 

She looked into his eyes and saw that there was something different about him, like he experienced something that nobody should ever have to face. What did he see in Africa? Was it really bad there? Will he talk to me about it? There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, but all she cared about right now was that he was home, alive.   
  
  
  
Carter leaned over and kissed Abby. She looked up at him. "John, is it really you?", she asked, as she touched his face to make sure that she wasn't dreaming.   
  
"Yes, it's me.", Carter said. 

She leaned over and hugged him. "I missed you so much!", she blurted out. 

Carter looked at her. I missed you, too. When I had that gun to my head, you were what I was thinking about. And that I would never be able to tell you how much I love you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 

He wanted to tell her that all right now, but he knew that there were some things that they needed to sort out before he did.   
  
  
  
"John, are you okay?", she asked, as she looked up at him. She could see that he was thinking about something intensely.   
  
  
  
"Yeah, I was just thinking about how we left things off when I left for Africa."   
  
"Shhh, let's not talk about that right now.", Abby said softly. She knew that there were a lot of things that they needed to sort out, but right now all she cared about was that he was back home, not in Africa anymore.   
  
  
  
Carter held her tightly, not wanting to let her go. He was back with the woman that he loves.

He looked at her. He missed everything about her. The way that she smiles at him, the way just being with her makes everything seem so much better.   
  
  
  
Abby climbed back into the bed. She looked up at him as he lay down next to her. "I'm so glad that you are home.", she said as she rested her head on his chest. He turned to face her. "I'm glad to be home, too."   
  
  
  
***

  
  
During the night Carter tossed and turned. He tried to fall asleep, but all he could think about was having that gun to his head and watching that guy get shot. That could have been me, he thought to himself as he climbed out of the bed and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. There was only one other time he felt like this and that was 3 years ago, when Lucy died. He wanted to make the images go away, but they wouldn't and he didn't think they would for a very long time.   
  
  
  
Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around. "Did I wake you?"

Abby looked up at Carter and could see that he was on the verge of crying. "Tell me what is wrong," she said, concerned, as she put her arms around him. Carter looked at her, not saying anything, just holding her tightly. There would be time for them to talk later, but right now he wanted to just stay in Abby's arms forever.   
  
  
  
To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2: Is there even a us?

**Rough Path   
  
**   
  
  
**  
Chapter 2: Is there even an us?   
**  
  
  
Abby woke up and looked to her side. He was still there, he didn't go anywhere. 

She looked at him, he was sleeping so peacefully. It took so long for him to get back to sleep, she just wished that he would talk to her about Africa, but she was going to wait until he was ready to tell her ...   
  
  
  
_What happened to us? When did we start pushing each other away?_, she thought to herself as she touched his face.   
  
  
  
_Did this start when I went to be with Eric instead of being with John when he needed me the most?_ There were so many questions she needed answers for. But would she get them? 

She crawled out of the bed, trying to make as little noise as she could. She didn't want to wake him. She went into the bathroom to have a shower.   
  
  
  
***   
  
Abby walked out of the bathroom just as Carter was waking up. 

"You're still here? I thought you had gone to work.", Carter said, as he climbed out of the bed.   
  
  
"I don't start for another hour or so.", Abby said. 

She looked up at Carter She never realized just how much she missed him. _But did he miss me? _She missed everything about him. 

The way that he could just look at her, making her forgot about everything that happened before he left for Africa. All she wanted to do was to go back to where they were before. But they couldn't, could they?   
  
  
  
She went up to him and put her arms around him, held him tightly, not wanting to let him go. Because that would mean she would have to ask the question that answer she didn't really want to know. 

Carter looked at Abby.   
  
"What is wrong?" he asked, concerned. 

But instead of asking him what she wanted to know, she said "Nothing."   
  
  
  
"Do you want some breakfast?", Abby asked as she walked into the kitchen. 

Carter grabbed a hold of Abby's arm. "We need to talk about what happened before I left."

Abby turned around. "Oh do you mean when you left me to go to Africa? Would you have told me if I hadn't bumped into you that night? Or would I just be wondering where you were?"

  
  
Carter looked at Abby and he saw sadness in her eyes. _I made her like that; I never wanted to hurt her._ He wanted to tell her everything. That he didn't want to leave for Africa because he wanted to get away from her. He left because he was so confused about his life. Gamma's death affected him more than he ever thought; she was more like a mother to him than his real mother.   
  
  
  
"I didn't plan on going to Africa, but Luka phoned me. I thought it was a good time to go, you knew that I was planning on going to Africa for a while."   
  
"I know, but I thought we would talk about it first, not that you just tell me the day before you were going. I didn't even know if you were coming back." Abby said, as tears started to fall down her cheeks. 

  
  
"I have to go now." she said as she wiped her tears away and started to walk out of the apartment.   
  
"You said that you didn't have to go for a while." he said as he went up to her. 

Abby turned to face him. "Well, I have to go."   
  
"Abby, we need to talk about this, don't leave."   
  
"No.", she said as she stormed out of the apartment.   
  
  
  
Carter couldn't believe what just happened. He hurt the one person that meant the most to him. He never wanted to hurt her. But he was hurting inside so much because of Gamma's death that he wouldn't have been any good in Chicago. So he had to get away. But his time in Africa made him realize what he had with Abby, she was his soul mate. 

When he was watching Gillian and Luka together, all he could think about was Abby and all the great times they had together. 

Carter sat on the floor, with his hands on his face, more lost than before.   
  
  
  
**   
  
Abby walked towards the ER. Susan was sitting outside in the ambulance bay. 

"I thought you didn't start for another hour?" Susan asked.   
  
"I decided to come in early, is that okay?" Abby snapped at Susan, as she walked into the ER, going straight into the lounge. 

She sat down on the couch, she was so confused. She thought that as soon as Carter got back from Africa that everything would start to   
  
get better, but it was worse than before. She could always talk to him about everything but now it seemed they couldn't even talk about the most simple things. 

She should be happy that John was home safely from Africa, but she couldn't. She wanted to know, what had been on her mind since the night he left for Africa. 

Did we break up?   
  
  
  
"Abby.", said a voice softly. 

Abby looked up and saw Susan standing in front of her. "Are you okay?", Susan asked. She could see that Abby was upset.   
  
"I'm fine, I didn't mean to snap at you out there." Abby said as she stood up. 

"That is okay." Susan said as she went up to Abby. 

"Did you know that John is back?" Abby asked.   
  
"Why aren't you happy then?" Susan wanted to know.   
  
"It is complicated. I'm happy that he is home, but I just don't know if John and me are still together, as we left each other on such a bad note.", Abby said as she went to make herself a coffee.   
  
"You love Carter, don't you?" Susan asked. 

Abby turned around with the cup in her hand, she didn't say anything. But Susan knew the answer by Abby's expression on her face.   
  
  
  
"I know that Carter loves you, you are just going through a rough path right now. Just talk to him." Susan said.

  
  
Chuny then entered the lounge. "Susan, there's a trauma coming in."   
  
"Okay, I'm coming," Susan said. "I'll see you later." she added as she left the lounge.   
  
  
  
  
  
***   
  
A few hours later.   
  
  
  
Carter entered the ER, and went straight to the admitting desk.

"Have you seen Abby?" he asked Jing Mei 

She looked up at him. "When did you get back?"   
  
"I got back yesterday, where is Abby?" he asked again.   
  
"I think she is in exam room 2."   
  
"Thanks.", he said as he started walking towards the exam room Abby was coming out of. They both looked at each other, not saying a word, as they were unsure of what to say.

"Abby, we need to talk." Carter said, making the first move. 

She looked up at him. "I don't think there is anything left to say.", she answered as she started to walk off.   
  
"Please, just for a few minutes." Carter pleaded. "When is your break?" 

She turned around. "Okay, we can talk." she said as they walked out of the ER. 

There was a silent moment between the both of them.   
  
  
  
"Let's sit down," Abby said as they reached the bench. 

Carter took a deep breath before he began.   
  
"I never wanted to hurt you, but I needed some time away from here."   
  
"I know you would never hurt me on purpose, but do you know what it has been like for me these past few weeks since you've been gone? ", Abby replied as she turned to face Carter, taking a hold of his hand "I have been so worried about you, I didn't know if you were dead or alive. You went somewhere that was so dangerous, you could have easily got hurt or even killed!" Abby said with tears in her eyes. 

She looked up at him and could tell from the expression on his face that something happened in Africa.  
  
"John, what happened in Africa, did you get hurt?"   
  
"No, I'm fine," he said, but Abby knew him better than anybody else, he was hiding something from her. 

Abby put her arms around him. He looked up at her. 

"You don't need to worry, I'm home and that is all you need to know." Carter said. 

He wanted to tell her, but he didn't really know what to think about what happened in Africa. He never felt the way he felt when he had that gun to his head. He knew that his life could be over in a matter of seconds, and he didn't even tell Abby that he loved her before he left.   
  
  
"Of course, I worry about you, I…", but she stopped before she said any more, as she couldn't say it, not right now.   
  
  
"John, what happened to us?", Abby said, as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

He looked at her. "I don't know." he answered, unsure about his relationship just as much as she was.   
  
"I need to ask you something, John." she said as she stood up.   
  
"What?" Carter said as he came up to her. 

She looked up at him, she wasn't sure if she wanted to ask him, as she was scared of what the answer would be.   
  
"Never mind." she said as she started walking away from him. 

Carter went up to her and touched her shoulder. 

"Tell me." 

She turned around. "The night that I saw you before you left, I got a sense that we were breaking up that night, is that true? Are we over?"   
  
  
  
To be continued!!!


	3. Chapter 3: Where do we go from here?

**Rough Path******

** Chapter 3: Where do we go from here?**

Carter looked at Abby, not saying anything to her, as he was shocked that she would ever think that.

She looked at him and knew that she got her answer. Then she started to walk away.

"No, Abby, don't leave, we need to talk," Carter said as he grabbed a hold of her hand. 

She turned around. "I understand that we broke up, I guess I will see you at work."

"Abby, we didn't break up, I'm so sorry that you even thought that." 

She looked up at him. "I did, you just leave for Africa without even saying goodbye, and I guess I thought that we were over." 

He looked at her. "I'm sorry; I didn't know you'd think that. You were all that I could think about in Africa, I just needed some time alone." 

"Time alone to get away from me," Abby replied, not realizing what she said.

Carter put his arms around her. "No, not to get away from you. But everything that happened was too much, Gamma's death and all. I was confused. I needed some time to think about everything." 

She didn't know what to say, she was still confused about the relationship. _If we didn't break up, then what happens now? _

She rested her head on his chest. He stroked Abby's hair.

"What happens now?" she asked. 

"I don't know," he said as he held her tightly.

"Abby, Kerry told me to tell you that your break is over." 

Abby looked up and saw Susan standing in front of them. 

"Okay, I'm coming."

"Carter, I'm glad to see that you are back," Susan said.

"Yeah, thanks," Carter said, as he looked at Abby. "I'll see you later," he added as he walked away. 

***

"So, I guess you and John worked everything out?" Susan asked as they walked back into the ER.

"Yeah, I guess. There is still a lot of stuff we need to sort out, though."

"Well it is good that you listened to me and talked to him."

"I was going to talk to him anyway," Abby laughed.

"Yeah," Susan laughed, too, as Chuny came up to them. "Susan, we need you in Trauma 2."

"I'll talk to you later, Abby," Susan said as she walked away.

*** 

Later that night

Abby walked into her apartment and saw John sitting on her couch.

"John," she said, as she closed the door. 

He turned around and smiled.

"I didn't think I would see you tonight," she said as she sat down next to him. 

He looked up at her. "I think we need to talk about some things." 

Abby looked at him and put her arms around him. She was so relieved that they didn't break up.

"Abby, I know that we can't go back to where we were before, and we need to sort things out," Carter said quietly, not really sure about what to say.

"But how did we get like this?"

"I don't know, I guess I haven't been myself since Gamma's death," he said softly. "She was like a mother to me more than my real mother. "

Abby took a hold of his hand. "I know." 

She knew that Gamma meant a lot to Carter, but she never knew exactly how much she meant to him. 

"I wasn't even there for you when you needed me," she said as she stood up.

"You had to be with Eric, I understand that now, but at the time, I didn't." Carter said as he got up from the couch and went up to her and hugged her.

Abby turned around to face him.

"Yeah, I should still have been there for you, though," Abby said with sadness in her voice. She never wanted to disappoint Carter, but she did when she wasn't there for him. 

"You shouldn't have gone through that on your own, you have been there for me through everything with my family, and I couldn't be there for you once," she said as tears started to roll down her cheek and she held him tightly. "And then there is what my brother did at your grandmother's funeral."

"Abby, that wasn't your fault; I never blamed you for that. But I guess when it happened I didn't really care about what you had to say. I was confused about everything in my life before I left for Africa, left my job and you."

She looked at him. "So what changed?"

He took a deep breath before he spoke. "Before I left for Africa, I wasn't sure where our relationship was going."

Abby could see that this was really hard for him to say. "Why don't we sit down?" Abby suggested, as she led him over to the couch.

"When I got to Africa, I couldn't believe what it was like; there were so many sick kids, and there wasn't much I could do, there were no machines like we have here. One night, the Mayi Mayi came, and held a gun to my head, that was when I realized that you were the one that I wanted. I didn't know if I was going to die right there, but all I knew was that you didn't know how I felt about you. You were all I could think about, and then when the guy shot the soldier I thought that it could have been me," Carter said as tears started to fall down his cheeks.

Abby couldn't believe what she just heard; she didn't just hear that the man that she loves almost died. She looked up at him and could see that this was really hard for him. She hugged him. "But it wasn't you."

Carter wiped away the tears, stood up and started to walk away.

"John," she said as she got up to follow him. "Is there something else?"

He turned around, and could see how worried she was about him. 

"It's nothing." 

She took a hold of his hand. "Come on, I know you well enough to know."

"It is really nothing; it is just that I can't get the image out of my mind. I try to sleep and all I can see is that soldier dying in front of me. I'm a doctor, but I couldn't do anything."

"You had a nightmare, the night that you first came home, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me?" Abby asked, as she held him tightly.

"Abby, there isn't anything you can do for me, I can deal with nightmares, I have before." 

Abby looked into his eyes and knew that he wasn't talking about Africa anymore.

"I'm here for you," she said softly. "You aren't alone." 

Carter looked at her and smiled. "I know, but I should be going, it is getting late." 

He didn't want to leave; he wanted to stay with her all night. But just a few hours ago she thought they broke up … he didn't want to rush things with her. He wasn't sure if she was ready for this after he just left her to go to Africa. He wanted to give her some time to make her trust him again. 

"Stay here with me," she said and took his hand.

*** 

The next day

Carter and Abby were sitting in the kitchen. 

"So, are you working today?" Carter asked.

"No," she answered. "When do you go back to work?"

"In a couple of days,"

Abby smiled at him. She was so happy that he was home safe and sound.

"So is Luka home, too or is he still in Africa?" Abby asked.

"He is still in Africa, and I don't know when or if he is coming back." Carter said. 

Suddenly the phone rang, Abby picked it up.

"Hello," she said. "Yeah he is right here."

Abby went up to Carter. "It's Luka; he wants to talk to you."

"Okay, "Carter said, as he picked up the phone. 

Abby looked at him as he was talking on the phone.

_Why was Luka phoning Carter? It's not like they are friends or anything_, she thought to herself. 

Then suddenly she thought of something. _What if Luka wants Carter to go back to Africa?_ There were so many questions she wanted to have answers for. 

She turned around and saw that Carter was off the phone.

"So, what did Luka want?" 

Carter looked up at Abby. "He needs my help; he wants me to go back to Africa for a few days."

Abby looked shocked at Carter's news.

"But you aren't going to, are you?"

To be continued!!!

Author's Note: Did you really think the angst was over? I don't think so!!!! I would like to thank my beta reader, Annette, she is the best!!!


	4. Chapter 4: Why?

Author's Note: I would like to thank my beta reader Annette, for doing such a great job, and helping me and telling me if she doesn't like an idea, thanks!!!

  
  
**Rough Path**

**Chapter 4: Why?**

Abby looked into Carter's eyes and knew right then that he was going to Africa. 

_He is leaving again, how could I think anything would be different? _Abby thought to herself. 

"You are going, aren't you?" 

Carter took a hold of her hand. "Yes, but it won't be for long." 

"But why do you have to? Aren't there any other doctors that can go? You just came back from there." 

Carter looked down at her. "Luka says that they just need me for a couple of days, as another doctor had an emergency, and he wants me to go there as the patients there know me. And other doctors are not vaccinated. It would take weeks before they can go down there but they need someone now. I'm the only one available. I'm sorry." 

Abby sighed, and walked away from Carter into the kitchen. He followed her. 

"Abby, listen to me, I'll be fine."

"Fine?" Abby said, shocked. "You are going back to Africa, where you had a gun to your head, what happens if this time … you get hurt or ... " She couldn't say it, but what if he got killed?

"I won't get hurt," Carter answered in a firm tone. 

"Just go, Carter. If you want to go to Africa then go," Abby shouted, and walked away. 

Carter looked back at her. "I'm not leaving, you like this."

"But you are leaving me, aren't you? You are just like every other man in my life. You told me that you would never leave me, but you are doing it right now – again," Abby said, as tears started to fall down her cheeks. 

"I'm not leaving you. I wish you could come with me!"

He really wanted her with him. But actually, he was glad there was no way she'd be able to go because she wasn't vaccinated. He'd be too worried about her.

She turned around. "Come with you?"

She knew she couldn't go.

"I don't want to be without you, believe me."

Abby looked at him. "But you are going?" 

Carter didn't say anything to her. It was no use as she wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say anyway. And he understood her. If she left for Africa he'd be scared, too that something happened to her. But he had to go. 

He decided that it would be the best to just leave before they shouted at each other. 

He just went up to her, and kissed her. "Goodbye, I'll be back on Friday night, I'll try and call you, I never wanted to hurt you," he said, as he walked out of the apartment. 

It was hard to go. But he knew that he might change his mind if he saw her looking at him any longer. He told himself that he'd be back soon and that he'd never leave her again after that. But now he had to help the people there. 

She watched him as he left. 

_Why did this happen, when everything was starting to get back to normal? _But she wasn't going to get upset._ If Carter wants to go back to Africa then he can_,she thought to herself. 

If that was the way that she felt, then why did she feel like a part of her was missing? 

She then walked into the bedroom. 

*** 

Later that day 

Susan walked into the lounge, and saw that Abby was at her locker, getting ready for her shift

"I thought you weren't on schedule for today?"

Abby turned around. "I decided to come in, as I need to do something to get it off my mind."

Susan looked at Abby, confused. "It?"

"John decided to go back to Africa after Luka phoned him and told him that they need Carter's help. I didn't want him to leave again for Africa but he did anyway," Abby replied as she sat down on the couch. 

Susan sat down next to her. "I'm so sorry."

Abby looked up at Susan. "There isn't anything to be sorry about. If Africa is where he wants to be, I guess I have to deal with it." 

Susan was confused that he would just leave again since he just came back. "Did you and Carter break up?" she asked, searching for an explanation.

"No, actually John and I were starting to sort things out when Luka called. I don't know why Carter thinks he has to go back there, I'm sure he could have said no." 

Susan looked at her friend and could see that Abby was really worried about Carter. "Are you concerned about Carter being in Africa?"

"Of course I am, aren't you? It's so dangerous there, John could get hurt," Abby told Susan, not telling her what Carter had experienced in Africa the first time.

"Of course I am worried about Carter being in Africa, but he knows how to take care of himself," Susan replied, trying to make Abby worry less. 

Abby stood up and walked to the counter. 

"Carter said he wished I could go with him."

Susan went up to Abby. "I'm sure he meant it," she said reassuringly.

Abby turned around. 

"He wants to be with you," Susan said.

Abby smiled a sad smile. "I wish I could go." 

Susan smiled. "I know. But you should at least say goodbye. How long until Carter leaves for Africa?"

"I don't know, he left my apartment without telling me." 

Just then Susan's pager went off. "I have to go now, as there is a trauma, but talk to Carter before he leaves for Africa," Susan said, as she walked out of the lounge. 

Abby sat back down on the couch, thinking about what Susan said and wondering if she should go find Carter before he left. 

Suddenly Kerry entered the lounge. "Abby, shouldn't you be out there working instead of being in here?"

Abby looked up at Kerry. "Actually I'm not supposed to work today, I have to go do something before it's too late," Abby said, as he grabbed her jacket and left the lounge. 

*** 

Abby called Carter's cell phone, but there was no answer, she tried his apartment but he wasn't there either. 

There was one last place he could be, the airport; she just hoped that his plane didn't leave yet. 

But what was she going to say to him if he was there? Though that wasn't really important. She just had to say goodbye. 

*** 

Abby showed up at the airport and went up to the desk. "Do you know if a plane has left for Africa yet?"

"Do you know the flight number?" the receptionist asked. 

Abby looked at the receptionist. "No, I don't."

"I'm sorry, miss, but we can't help if we don't know the flight number."

"Okay, thank you," Abby said, disappointed, and left the desk. 

As she walked off someone bumped into her. 

"Sorry," he said. "Abby? You?" 

She looked up and saw that it was Carter.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see her there.

"Do you think we could talk before you leave for Africa?" Abby asked, as she took his hand. 

"Sure." 

They went and sat down on a bench. 

"I wanted to say goodbye before you left." 

Abby then stood up and Carter looked at her. "You came all this way, just to say goodbye?" he asked, surprised. After the way he left her apartment he didn't think she'd want to say goodbye. "I mean, I am glad you are here, but ... "

"Yes," she cut him short. "I didn't want to miss the last chance to be with you before you leave." 

Carter looked at her, touched by what she said. "I'm glad you're here, Abby. Even though I'll be back soon I'm glad you're here." 

Abby took a hold of his hand. "Me, too. Back at my apartment I didn't want to come here, but I was just shocked that you were going back to Africa. I don't want to be without you again." 

Carter put his arms around her. "I promise to be back safe as soon as possible.." 

"Flight 212 to Africa is now boarding," the announcer interrupted them.

"That's me," Carter said, as he stood up. 

"I already miss you," Abby said, as she put her arms around him.

"Me, too," Carter answered. "I will think of you every minute of the day." He couldn't think of anything better to say to express how much he'd miss her.

Abby hugged Carter and leaned over to kiss him. 

"I'll call you when I arrive." 

"Goodbye," Abby said, as she hugged him again. She waved at him as he was leaving. 

"John, I love you," she called after him, but he didn't hear it as he had already been gone. 

*** 

_3 day ... he had been gone for 3 days; Carter said that he would phone me two nights ago. Why hasn't he called me yet?_

"Abby," a voice suddenly said. Abby turned around.

"Hi Susan."

"He still hasn't phoned you, has he?"

Abby nodded.

"I'm sure he'll call you soon. When did he want to?" Susan asked.

"As soon as he arrived."

"Oh," Susan said. "I'm sure there is a reason why he couldn't call yet." Susan tried to reassure Abby, but she could tell that it wasn't working. 

Haleh entered the lounge. "We need the both of you out there, as there is a trauma coming in."

"We're coming," Abby said, as her and Susan left the lounge. 

*** 

During the trauma 

Jerry walked into the exam room. "Abby, Luka is on Line 1 for you." Abby looked at him. 

"Luka?"

_Why would he want to talk to me? Unless something happened to Carter._

_No, he is fine_, she told herself. 

"Can you take a message?"

"Luka told me that it was urgent, that he had to speak to you."

"Go talk to him, I can finish the trauma," Jing Mei said. 

"Thanks," Abby said, as she walked out of the exam room and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she asked carefully, not sure what Luka wanted. 

"Abby," he started. She could tell by the tone of this voice that it wasn't good news.

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked.

"It's Carter, something happened to him." 

To be continued. 

Author's Note: Yeah, I know you, think it's the typical "Carter is hurt" story. But it's not, trust me!!!


	5. Chapter 5: Dealing

**Rough Path**

**Chapter 5: Dealing**   
  


"What happened to Carter?" Abby asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.

So many thoughts were going through her mind. Was he hurt? Or did her worst fear come true? 

"He's missing," Luka said.

"Missing?" Abby replied, confused. 

She knew that he shouldn't have gone back to Africa, it was too dangerous.

Abby paused for a moment. "When did Carter go missing?"

"Two days ago."

"Luka, why didn't you phone me before?" Abby asked angrily.

"We weren't sure if he was missing."

"How could you not know?" Abby wanted to know, getting furious with Luka.

Luka suddenly went silent.

"I know everything that happened in Africa last time, please tell me what happened, I need to know."

"When Carter got to Africa, he was helping me with some patients when there was an attack from the Mai Mai and we had to move fast. When the attack was over, Carter was gone." 

Abby couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Maybe you aren't looking hard enough for him; I should come to Africa, and help you look for him."

"Abby, you aren't coming to Africa, it is best that you stay in Chicago. We are going to find him," Luka said. 

Abby heard voices in the background telling Luka that he needed to go.

"I should go, but don't worry, we will find him."

But she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was just saying that to make her feel better.

"Bye," she said, as she hung up the phone. 

Abby didn't know how to deal with the news. _Why did he have to go there?_

She was still in shock over Luka's news. _This can't be true_, she thought to herself as she walked into the lounge. She opened her locker, and got her jacket on. She had to get out of here. 

As she was walking out of the lounge, Kerry came up to her.

"Abby, I need you in Exam 2."

"Kerry, I can't do this, not right now."

"Abby … you are on, you can't just leave."

Abby turned around before she shouted to the whole ER staff, "I can't work right now, not while Carter is missing," and then left the ER. 

She started walking around the block, she didn't know where she was going. She just didn't want to think about it anymore. 

She sat down on the bench.

How was she supposed to get on with her life here, not knowing if they are ever going to find Carter in Africa? Was he hurt? Or worse, was he dead? 

_"I promise to be back safe as soon as possible."_

She started to remember what he promised her at the airport. But he didn't keep his promise, did he? No, just like all the other times. 

Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

She couldn't lose him, he was everything to her. When he came back from Africa, she was angry at him for leaving her, but she understood why he did it, and they were just getting their relationship back on track – when Luka called. 

_Why did you have to go John? I need you here with me_, she thought to herself. 

"Abby," a voice suddenly said.

Abby looked up and saw Susan standing in front of her. She wiped the tears from her cheek. "Susan, what are you doing here?"

Susan sat down on the bench. "I know what happened."

Abby looked at Susan. "Nothing happened, I'm fine," Abby lied.

"I was there when you told Kerry about Carter," Susan replied, looking as upset as Abby did. "How are you coping?" 

Abby sighed. "I don't know. How is someone supposed to cope when the one that they love is in another country missing?"

Susan nodded. "So how did you find this out?"

Abby stood up. "Luka phoned me just a little while ago to give me the news."

The news that she was afraid of. What she was scared of the most, what she feared was going to happen if Carter went to Africa, did happen. 

"Can we stop talking about this?" Abby asked, trying to get herself to forget. She thought if she forgot about it, it isn't really happening.

Susan could see in how much pain Abby was, and there was nothing she could do for her friend. "Kerry told me to tell you to have a few days off work." 

"A few days? To do what? To think of Carter all day and all night?"

Susan hugged her friend. "If you don't want to have a couple days off then at least go home and rest."

Abby nodded. "Okay, I will, bye."

"Abby, wait," Susan said.

Abby turned around.

"If you need someone to talk to tonight, give me a call … it doesn't matter what time it is, okay?"

"Thanks, Susan," Abby said, as she walked away from her. 

*** 

Later that night 

Abby was sitting in her living room when she started to remember Carter and when he returned from Africa, safe and sound. _Why did I let him go?_

She then started to remember everything about Carter. The first time that they met, the time that Carter asked her to be her sponsor.

The time that he went to Oklahoma  to help her with her mother, or the time that he invited her to the charity ball.

Or when they first kissed in that trauma room 

_I can't think about this anymore_, she thought to herself as she got up from the couch. She needed to get out of here, there were too many memories. She needed to stop thinking about him. She got her keys and jacket and walked out of the apartment.   
  


An hour later 

She knocked at the door.

"Abby!" Susan said, surprised to see her standing in front of the door.

"I know you said to call, but I just needed to get out of there. If this is a bad time, I can go," Abby said quietly.

"No, Abby, please come in," Susan said gently, seeing how upset Abby was. She didn't know how Abby was going to handle it if they didn't find Carter soon. 

Abby walked into Susan's apartment. "I'm sorry about just showing up, but everything about my apartment reminded me of Carter."

Susan hugged Abby. "I know it does, do you want something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine, "Abby said, sadly as she sat down on the couch. 

Susan sat down next to Abby. She wasn't sure what to say to her friend as there wasn't much that she could say that would make Abby feel better. There was only one thing that could do that; and that was Carter. 

Abby looked at Susan. "Did you know that I never told John that I love him, that he is the best thing in my life? And I might never get to tell him that."

"I'm sure Carter knows how you feel about him, anybody could tell how much you love him." 

Abby paused for a moment. She didn't want to think about Carter in Africa anymore, she just wanted it all to go away ... like it never happened.

Susan looked at Abby, and could see how much pain Abby was in, and knew she needed to do something to get it off her mind. 

"How about we watch a movie, I can make some popcorn, and it can be like a girls night in," Susan said.

Abby smiled. "I know what you are trying to do."

"I'm not trying to do anything, I just want to watch a movie. And I'm thinking an action movie, how about you?"

"Okay, "Abby smiled. She knew that Susan was trying to get her to forgot about Carter in Africa, but it would take more than a movie to do that, but she would do anything to get him off her mind.   
  


Later that night 

They were just finishing watching the movie. "I should be going home now."

"Why don't you stay the night?" suggested Susan, knowing that Abby didn't really want to go home.

Abby shook her head, "I don't know."

"Abby, I'm sure you don't want to be alone tonight."

"Well, okay." 

*** 

Susan looked and saw that Abby had fallen asleep half way through the movie. She quietly got off the couch, and headed to her bedroom. She looked back at Abby, and she didn't know how Abby could deal with everything so well.

_I just hope that this turns out good, as I don't know what Abby would do if Carter never came back_, Susan thought to herself as she went into the bedroom.   
  


The next morning 

Susan got up, and saw that Abby was making breakfast as she walked into the kitchen.

"Abby, what are you doing?" 

Abby turned around. "I thought I would make some breakfast, thanks again for letting me stay here last night. You were right, I couldn't go back to my apartment, there are so many memories of Carter and me."

"You can stay here as long as you want."

"Do you want eggs and bacon or do you want some pancakes?"

"Stop it, Abby."

"Stop what?" Abby asked as she put the food on the plate, and sat down.

"I know what you're trying to do … you are trying to forget about Carter by keeping yourself busy." 

"I am just making breakfast, nothing more," Abby said, as she got up and started to walk away. Susan followed her. "I'm sorry; I just thought that was what you were doing," Susan said, as she patted Abby on the back.

As Abby turned around Susan could see that she was crying. 

Abby wiped tears away from her cheeks; she never cried in front of anybody. In front of Carter a few times, but not much.

"What happens if they never find him? I don't know if I can live without Carter."

Susan nodded. "I know, but we have to keep faith that they are going to find him. Have you checked your messages yet?"

"Yeah, there aren't any on my cell phone or at my house."

Susan and Abby sat down. "Luka did say that he would phone you if he heard any news, right?" Susan asked.

"Yes, I don't know if no news is good news."

"Abby, why don't you stay with me for a few more days, I would love to have a roommate," Susan suggested.

"No, I will be fine. Actually, I am going to go to work today, and I start in an hour"

"Are you sure that it is a good idea?"

"Yes," Abby said as she grabbed her jacket. "Thank you for letting me stay here last night."

"It was nothing; I will see you at work later on." 

*** 

An hour later 

Abby walked into the ER, and walked into the lounge. She opened her locker, and got her stuff out, and looked at Carter's locker. She then flashed back to the time when Carter was leaving for his scuba trip. 

_"I took a split shift so I could see you off."_

_"My flight is not for hours," Carter said_

_"I know…"_

Abby then heard someone shutting their locker door. She looked up and saw Jing Mei.

"I've heard about Carter, I'm so sorry. How are you dealing?"

"I am fine, I just needed to get back to work, "Abby said. As soon as she walked out of the lounge, everybody went quiet. 

"So what can I do? Anybody need any help?" Abby asked as she walked up the admitting desk.

"Abby, I don't think you should be helping with traumas today, you have too much on your mind," Kerry said.

"I am fine; I just need to do my job." 

Susan came up to her. "Why don't you help me with the trauma that is coming in?" she said, as they walked outside, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

"Is this how it's going to be … maybe I should have stayed home?" Abby laughed.

"They are just worried about you ... everybody knows how much Carter means to you."

"I know, but I came to work to forget about what is happening with Carter, I don't want to have to think about it every second," Abby said, as they wheeled the patient to the ER. 

*** 

Later that day 

Abby walked into the exam room. "Hi, I am your nurse."

"When is the doctor going to see me?" the patient asked.

"A doctor will see you very soon," Abby said.

"Is Doctor Carter going to see me today?"

Abby hadn't thought about Carter for the last half an hour, but as soon as the patient said Carter's name it brought everything back.

_Is this really happening, is Carter missing or I am just dreaming this?_, she thought to herself. 

Abby turned around. "Doctor Carter isn't here today; another doctor will see you."

"Oh, I was here before, he was my doctor, and he was really kind to me."

"Yes he is," Abby said, as she walked out of the exam room, bumping into Susan. 

"Abby, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." 

*** 

Later that night, Abby walked into her apartment, and checked her messages, but there was nothing. She sat down on the couch, and saw that there was Carter's sweater. She picked it up, and held it. 

"I love you; you have to come home soon."

She wanted to forget about it all, but there was nothing that was going to help, there was only one thing that would and that is having Carter home safe and sound. 

She walked into the bedroom, got into bed, and started to fall asleep with Carter's sweater still in her arms. It was like he was there with her. 

To be continued


	6. Chapter 6: No News Is Good News

**Rough Path**

**Chapter 6: No News … Is Good News**   
  


As Abby walked into the hospital, she wasn't sure if that was the best idea. But it was either that or sitting at home, waiting for Luka to call. 

"Hi," a voice called her from behind. 

Abby turned around. "Hi, Jing Mei," Abby greeted her as they walked into the lounge.

"So, have you heard any news?" Jing Mei asked.

Abby shook her head. "I don't know if no news is good news." 

Suddenly she realized that she couldn't talk about this – it hurt too much to think about the _what__ if_s. "I'm sorry, but I should get back to work," Abby sighed as she walked out of the room. 

How was she going to do this … how could she get on with her life like nothing happened?

But she knew she had to … it would be what Carter would want her to do. But how could she get on with her regular day when Carter was a part of it? 

*** 

Later that day 

"Your doctor will be here to see you in a few minutes," Abby told a patient, as she walked out of the exam room. 

"Here's your next patient," Abby said as she handed Susan the chart as she was coming up to her.

Susan nodded. "Oh thanks, just what I want." 

Abby was about to walk away when Susan called her.

Abby turned around. "Yeah?"

"Why don't we go out for dinner later?" Susan asked.

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"Okay, meet me in the lounge at the end of your shift."

"Okay. And Susan, thanks for not asking me how I am, for just treating me normal"

Susan smiled. "So I'll see you later then."

"Yeah," Abby answered, as she walked away from Susan. 

Whatever it took to get everything off her mind, she would do it. 

*** 

Meanwhile in Kisangani 

"Luka, there isn't anything else we can do to find John."

"Gillian, we have to find him, he can't just have disappeared," Luka said. 

He knew how much Carter meant to Abby, and he was going to do whatever it took to find him. He had to. 

*** 

Meanwhile back in Chicago 

"So, how are you doing? I know you are worried about Carter, too. He is one of your best friends, "Abby asked as her and Susan were at the restaurant.

"Of course I am worried about him, but I have faith that everything is going to be okay."

"I wish you were right, but I just don't know anymore," Abby said quietly.

Susan hugged Abby. 

Abby smiled. "Thank you for being there for me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Susan smiled back at her. "That is what friends are for, Abby," she reassured her as the waitress came with their bill. 

"So, are you working tomorrow?" Susan asked Abby.

"No, and it is going to be really hard. I like to work so many shifts, it gets my mind off my problems. But Kerry won't let me work any shifts for a few days. I don't know what I am going to do in those few days." 

"I have tomorrow off. We could spend the day shopping to get your mind off your problems," Susan suggested.

Abby smiled. "Thank you, but I will be fine. I am going to have to deal with a life without Carter ... ," Abby said quietly as tears started to fall down her cheeks. "If I get the bad news from Luka ... " 

Susan patted Abby's shoulder gently. "Don't think about the worst."

"How can I not? John has been missing for days now. Do you really think they are going to find him alive? I have to face reality and realize that there is a good chance that I'll never see him again."

"Abby, that is not true," Susan said, trying to calm her down.

"I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this anymore. Thank for dinner, but I really have to go now Susan." 

"No Abby, wait. I will come with you," Susan said, as she paid the bill, and followed Abby outside.

Abby turned around. "Susan … thank you for trying to help me, but I really have to be on my own right now."

"I don't think that is a good idea," Susan said, not sure what Abby would do if she let her go home alone now. 

"Please Susan, if you are my friend, just leave me alone." 

Susan hesitated for a moment but then she decided that it was better to give Abby some time alone. "Give me a call if you need to talk, okay?"

"I will," Abby said, as she started to walk away. 

Susan watched as Abby walked away. She knew that Abby was in pain, and there was nothing she could do for her. She just hoped that Abby wouldn't do something stupid to get over the pain of thinking that she might never see Carter again. 

*** 

An hour later 

Abby walked into her apartment with a bag in her hand. She took the bottle she bought on her way home out of the bag. She wanted to do something that would get her mind off Carter, and the best idea seemed a bottle of vodka. 

She opened the bottle, and started pour some of the vodka in a glass when she started thinking about Carter, and what he said to her when they were locked in together at the hospital last year. 

_"Tell me we're gonna be okay. "_

_"We're gonna be okay."_

She couldn't do it, she wanted to forget about everything desperately, but she couldn't drink the vodka – at least not right now. 

Suddenly the glass fell on the floor. She didn't notice that she cut her hand on the glass as she wanted to pick it up as the phone rang

She ran to pick it up. "Luka?"

"No, Abby, it's me, Susan. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay, I was worried about you." 

"I'm fine, Susan," she lied. But then she decided to tell her the truth. "Actually, I was just going to do something really stupid to make everything go away, but I couldn't do it … I couldn't drink the vodka because of Carter. He isn't even here, but he is telling me what to do," Abby laughed.

"I can come over, and we can watch a movie," Susan suggested, worried about her friend. 

"Susan, you aren't my mother, I will be fine. I am not going to get drunk. And if I do, it has nothing to do with you, "Abby snapped.

"I know that, Abby. But I am worried about you." 

Abby then started to cry. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. But I am just so scared that John is dead. How I am going to live without him, Susan? Please tell me that. John said that he was only going to be gone for a few days and that he would return home safely, but he didn't, did he? He got himself killed while helping others. But what about me?"

"Abby, we don't know if he is ... " Susan couldn't say it.

"_Dead_, Susan. You can say it."

"Abby, I am coming over right now," Susan said.

"No, you are not," Abby said, as she hung up the phone. But as she stood up she felt dizzy, and collapsed on the floor. 

*** 

Meanwhile in Kisangani 

Luka and Gillian were still searching for Carter. Luka knew that there was a chance that Carter was dead, but he had to find him for Abby's sake. He knew that she would need to know what happened to him. 

"Luka, I think I found something," Gillian said. Luka went up to Gillian and looked at what she found.

"It's him!"   
  
  
  


To be continued!!! 

Author's Note: Did you really think I would tell you if Carter was alive or dead in this chapter? I don't think so. But you'll find out in the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait, please review!!!


	7. Chapter 7: The Call

**Rough Path**

**Chapter 7: The Call**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ER or "How do I live" by Leanne Rimes.**   
  


"It's him," Luka said, not sure what he was going to find. Was Carter dead or alive?

He checked his pulse. "He's alive, but his pulse is very weak." 

Gillian came up to Carter and Luka. "Is he awake?"

"John, can you hear me?" Luka asked. 

Carter looked up at Luka. "Luka, you found us," he said weakly. 

"Us?" Gillian questioned.

"Yes, there was a patient with me. He was shot in the leg, he lost a lot of blood. You have to help him." 

Both Luka and Gillian looked at each other.

"What?" Carter asked.

"You have been missing for five days. There is no way that your patient is alive. I'm sorry, John," Luka said. 

Gillian went up to the boy who was lying just a few steps away from Carter.

She looked up at Carter and Luka. "He's gone." 

Luka looked at Carter. "We need to get you to the clinic. Are you hurt?"

"I think I hurt my leg, but everything else is a blur. I feel so weak."

"Carter, stay with me."

But suddenly Carter dozed off. 

"We need to get him to the clinic now!!"   
  


**   
  


Meanwhile in Chicago   
  


Susan was on her way to Abby's apartment. 

She knew that Abby didn't want her to come over, but she was so worried about her. 

She knocked on the door, but nobody answered it.

"Abby, its Susan. Please open the door." 

Susan tried knocking again, but there was still no answer. 

She decided to see if the landlord could help her.

"Hi. My friend, Abigail Lockhart, lives in 205. I can't get a hold of her and I'm worried. Maybe I could have the keys to her apartment to see if she's okay?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's just not there," the landlord hesitated.

"Please, my friend could be hurt, just open her apartment for me. You don't need to give me the keys," Susan pleaded. 

"Okay," the landlord agreed, as he opened the door.

"Thank you," Susan said as she walked into the apartment. 

"Abby!!!" she called out.

When she reached the kitchen she saw Abby lying on the floor. 

"Abby, wake up," Susan said, as she kneeled down next to her.

Then she saw that Abby had cut her hand. 

Abby opened her eyes slowly. "Susan, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. You didn't sound yourself on the phone," Susan said. "What happened to your hand?" 

Abby looked at her hand, and saw that it was bleeding.

"Oh, I dropped my wine glass, and I cut my hand when I was picking it up." 

Abby looked at Susan and could tell by the way that she was looking at her that she didn't believe her. "I didn't try to kill myself, it was an accident, Susan," Abby said as she stood up with Susan's help.

"I know you didn't. I was just so worried about you. I know you are depressed about Carter. I just didn't want you to do anything stupid."

"I wouldn't cut myself. If anything I would drink." 

"Did you?" she asked worriedly.

"No," she answered, making Susan sigh of relief. 

"Come on, I will take you to the hospital to stitch you up," Susan suggested.

"You don't have to, I can go by myself," Abby said.

"No, Abby. I will come with you." 

Abby grabbed her jacket and keys before they left her apartment.   
  


**   
  


Susan and Abby arrived at the hospital.   
  


"We go to an empty room, and I'll stitch you up, okay?"

"Sure." 

Abby and Susan walked to the room.

Abby sat down as Susan started sewing her hand. "So what happened?"

"I told you, I just broke the glass."

"Abby, I saw the bottle."

Abby looked at her. "I didn't drink any of it, I told you. I just wanted to forget about Carter. I know there is a chance that I'm never going to see him again, and that scares me. I won't ever be able to see him smile again. Why didn't I try harder to get him to stay? I should have told him that I didn't want him to go. That I was scared that he wouldn't come back." 

"Abby, it's not your fault. Carter would have gone no matter what. You know that."

Abby nodded. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better. Are you finished? I want to go home."

"I'm finished," Susan said. 

Abby got up from the gurney.

"Abby, are you sure you want to go home?  If you can come over to my apartment, and stay there tonight,"

Abby turned around, and smiled. "You know you are really kind, but I need some time to be on my own. I promise you, I will be fine." 

"I'll call you later, and see how you are," Susan said, as they walked out of the room.

Abby smiled. "Okay." 

Susan watched as Abby left the hospital. She knew that Abby was in a lot of pain. She just hoped that whatever happened next, she was going to be okay.   
  


**   
  


Meanwhile in Kisangani,  
  


Carter slowly started to wake up. "Where I am?"

Luka came up to him. "You are in Africa, you were hurt."

Carter looked up at Luka. "How long have I been asleep?"

"You passed out for about an hour. Just a little while after we found you." 

Carter then started to remember everything. "I couldn't save the boy, could I?"

"I'm sorry, John." 

Luka sat down next to Carter. "You broke your leg, and you are still weak. You are very dehydrated, but besides that I think you are going to be okay." 

Carter nodded. "Does anybody else know that I have been missing?" Carter asked.

"If you are talking about Abby, yes. I called her when we couldn't find you. She wanted to come to Africa, and look for you herself. But I told her not to."

Carter smiled. "She wanted to come to Africa?" 

Carter then knew what he needed to do.   
  


**   
  


At Abby's apartment   
  


Abby was lying on her bed, holding Carter's sweater in her arms again. Then she heard a song play on the radio. 

**_How do I,   
  
Get through one night without you?   
  
If I had to live without you,   
  
What kind of life would that be?   
  
Oh, I need ..._**   
  
**_I need you in my arms, need you to hold_**

Abby then started to cry_. John, I don't want to live without you. I need you. Did I really lose you?_, she thought to herself. 

Suddenly she heard the phone ring. _I bet that is Susan_, she thought. She didn't really feel like talking to Susan, but she knew that Susan would be over there in a second if she didn't pick up on the phone. 

"Hi Susan. I told you, you didn't need to phone," she said in a whisper.

"Abby, it's me."   
  


To be continued. 

Author's Note: Thanks for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I am glad that people are still reading the story.


	8. Chapter 8: It's Going To Be Okay

**Rough Path******

**Chapter 8: It's Going To Be Okay**  
  


Abby couldn't believe it. Carter was alive, not dead. 

She didn't know what to say to him. She was so afraid to lose him, that she never thought about what to say if he was okay. She never thought that it was a possibility that he's alive. She thought she lost him forever. 

"Abby, are you still there?"

She smiled. "I'm still here, Carter. I'm just so shocked that you're talking to me. I thought that I lost you."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, thinking that I was dead. I didn't even know that I was missing. Luka told me that I have been missing for a few days. I heard you wanted to come down to Africa and try to find me."

"I would do anything to find you, I . " but she stopped mid sentence. She couldn't tell him that she loved him - not over the phone. 

Instead she decided to change the subject. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. I'm still a little weak, and I have a broken leg. But it could have been much worse."

"I know it could have been." 

_I could be talking to Luka now instead of John. Instead of happy news ... get bad news_, she thought to herself. 

"When will you be coming home?" Abby then asked.

"I don't know, I will call you as soon as I know more," Carter replied. "I miss you, Abby."

"I miss you too, John." 

Suddenly Abby heard someone calling John's name in the background.

"I guess you need to go."

"I do, but I will see you soon."

Abby was about to hang up the phone when she said, "I'm glad that you are alright, John. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't. Please come home soon."

"I promise, I will be home soon," Carter said. "Bye."

"Bye." 

And with that they both hung up the phone.

Abby couldn't believe what just happened . Carter was alive, and he was okay. 

She thought that her whole life was going to change when she got the news that he was missing, that she lost the man that she loved. 

But in fact, he was alive. And she wasn't going to mess up this chance she got. She'd tell him how much she loves him once he's back. 

Suddenly Abby remembered that there's someone she should call, picked up her phone, and dialed the familiar number. 

"Hello," said the voice on the other line.

"Hey Susan, it's me, Abby."

"Did you get news about Carter?"

"Yes."

"Abby, are you okay?"

"Susan, I'm great. Carter is alive."

"I can't believe this. I told you everything was going to work out. I'm coming over right now, you have to explain everything to me."

"Susan, you don't have to."

Susan laughed. "You just found out that your boyfriend is alive. You want to celebrate, don't you?"

She laughed. "Okay, I'll see you soon." Abby paused for a moment before she spoke again. "Thank you Susan for everything."

"That's what friends are for," Susan said.

Abby just smiled. "Bye."

"Bye." 

Abby still smiled to herself when she got up from the couch. Her eyes fell on the photo album on her table. She picked it up and opened it, finding some pictures of her and Carter together. 

All the memories, and the thought of what's still to come in the future made her cry, but this time they were happy tears. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

***   
  


Meanwhile in Kisangani 

Carter couldn't stop thinking about Abby. As soon as he heard her voice, he knew that he needed to go back home as soon as possible.

He already promised her to be home soon once. And the last time he didn't keep his promise. But this time he was not going to break it. 

Suddenly he heard someone calling his name. He turned around, and saw Luka standing in front of him. "When do you think I will be able to go back to Chicago?"

Luka sat down next to Carter. "You are still a little weak, but I think in a few days you will be ready to go back. You miss her, don't you?"

Carter nodded.

"She was so worried about you when she found out that you were missing. I called her a few times to keep her up to date on the search for you. She sounded so distant and not herself. She really was scared for you."

"I know she was," Carter replied. 

He knew before he left for Africa the second time that they still needed to sort some things out. But none of that mattered as all he wanted to do was to be with her again. 

"Will you be coming to Chicago with me when I go?" Carter asked.

Luka looked at Carter, and shook his head. "I don't know." Then he stood up. "I have to go check out some of my patients."

"Thank you for finding me."

Luka nodded before he left. Carter would never forget what Luka did for him. 

***   
  


At Abby's apartment 

Susan had just arrived, and was sitting on the couch.

"Do you want to something to eat?" Abby called from the kitchen.

Susan turned around. "No, I want to hear all about Carter. How did you find out that he was alive. Did Luka call you?" 

Abby walked up to Susan, and sat down next to her. "It wasn't Luka who called, it was John. I was sitting in the living room when the telephone rang. I picked it up, and it was John. I was in shock; I thought that I would never hear his voice again. Susan, to tell you the truth, I was really losing hope that Carter was going to be alive. I was starting to think that I would have to spend the rest of my life without him."

Susan smiled at Abby. "But you won't. Carter is going to be alright, and is going to come home to you very soon. When will he be back?"

"I don't know. He said that he would call me as soon as he knew."

Susan hugged Abby. "I am so happy that everything worked out for you. You deserve some happiness." 

"So how's your hand?" Susan then asked.

Abby looked down at it. "I haven't even thought of it since I found out that Carter was alive. It is a little sore, but it's nothing."   
  


A few hours later 

"I should be going. I have an early shift tomorrow. Are you working?" Susan asked.

Abby nodded.

"I'll see you then," Susan said as she grabbed her jacket. 

"Susan, you have been such a wonderful friend during this terrible time I had to go through. Thank you again," Susan hugged Abby.

"You are my friend, that is what friends do."

"Bye," Abby said as Susan left the apartment. 

She shut the door, and headed to the bedroom, got undressed, crawled into the bed, and laid her head on the pillow.

_Today turned out to be the best day of my life_, Abby thought to herself as she dozed off. 

***   
  


Few days later 

"So today is the day that Carter returns home?"

Abby smiled at Susan. "Yes, I'm so excited. I'm going to go meet him at the airport in a few hours. My shift is finished now, so I am going to go home."

"To fresh up for him?" Susan laughed.

Abby laughed. "Maybe." She opened her locker, and put her jacket on. "I never thought that was how it was going to turn out. I never thought that John would be okay. But you did Susan. Thank you," Abby said, as she hugged Susan.

"You thanked me enough," Susan laughed. "Go home and get ready to see Carter."

Abby smiled. "Bye," she said, as she walked out of the lounge. 

***   
  


A few hours later 

Abby arrived at the airport, and walked up to the receptionist to see if Carter's plane had come in yet. 

"No, I'm sorry. That plane is delayed. But it shouldn't be more than half an hour."

"Thanks," Abby said, as she went to the waiting area, and sat there to wait. 

She was so scared that something else happened to Carter, and that he wasn't really coming back. But then suddenly she turned around, and saw him. 

He was walking in crutches. Their eyes met, she stood up, and started to run to him. She hugged him; she didn't want to let him go.

"Abby ."

"Don't talk right now, John.," she said as she put her head on his shoulder. 

There was so much that Abby wanted to ask him, but right now all she wanted was to be in his arms.   
  
  
  


To be continued!!


	9. Chapter 9 Back Together

**Rough Path**

Chapter 9: Back Together   
  
Abby held onto Carter. "I can't believe that you are here," she said as she touched his face. "I thought I was never going to see you again." She leaned over and kissed Carter. 

"Abby .."

"Shh. Let me just look at you for a moment. I thought that I was never going to be able to kiss or hug you again. Is this really happening? Are you here?"

Carter nodded and looked at Abby. "I need to tell you something," he said.

She looked at him. "What do you need to tell me? Are you hurt more than you are telling me?" she asked.

Carter shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that. I brought someone back with me."

Abby turned around, and saw Luka standing in front of her. "Luka!!" she said as she went over to him and hugged him. "I thought you weren't coming back with John."

Luka looked at her. "I decided to come back for a while."

"I'm glad that both you and John are back from Africa," Abby said, smiling. She took a hold of John's hand. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"I'm fine, just a little sore. But I'm going to be just fine, thanks to Luka," Carter said, turning to face Luka. "I don't know how I can ever thank you .. I don't know what would have happened to me if you didn't find me."

"But we don't want to think about what could have happened," Abby said.

Luka nodded. "She's right, you are home now."

Abby looked at both Luka and Carter. "Well let's go home," she said.

Luka looked at them. "I'll see you two later on," he said as he started to walked away.

"Wait, Luka," Abby called out to him and he turned around. "Why don't you come to dinner with John and me?"

"Sure," he said.

They all left the airport.

A few hours later

Abby and Carter were finally alone. She looked at him, as they approached her apartment

"Do you need some help?" she asked.

He looked at her. "I just have a broken leg, I'm not ill," he answered as he walked into the apartment with his crutches.

Abby followed him in, and walked up to him, and took a hold of his hand. "I know you are not ill, John. But do you know what it was like for me these past few days when I thought that I lost you? It was horrible. I felt everything .. sadness, anger, shock, and most of all regret."

Carter looked at Abby. "What do you regret?"

"Everything. I should have told you that I ..," but Abby stopped mid sentence. She couldn't do it. She was too afraid to tell Carter exactly how she feels about him. "Well I'm sure you are tired," Abby said instead, as she headed into the living room.

Carter walked into the living room, and grabbed Abby's hand. "I'm not tired. I want to know what you were going to say to me just a few seconds ago."

Abby turned to face Carter. "I was just going to say that I should have told you that I really didn't want you to go to Africa. And should have stopped you from going."

"I don't think that was what you were going to say. We have been through a lot these past few days. Just tell me the truth."

"Okay, John Carter, do you know what I was going to say? I was going to tell you that I love you. Are you happy now?" Abby said, as she walked over to the couch.

Carter followed her to the couch, and took her hand in his. "You want to know who I was thinking about the whole time I was in Africa? It was you. I didn't want to leave you the second time, but I knew that I had to go. But the whole time I was there, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I missed you. I know that we still have a lot to deal with but I love you, Abby."

Abby looked at Carter. "Do you mean it?"

Carter nodded. "Of course I do."

Abby smiled. "Just promise me one thing, John. That you won't ever leave me again."

Carter looked at Abby. "I promise, I won't leave."

And for the first time in weeks, Abby actually believed that Carter wasn't going anywhere.

Later

Abby woke up, and saw that Carter wasn't next to her. For a moment, she was worried that she dreamed it all, that Carter was really gone. She grabbed her bathrobe, and walked out into the living room, where she saw that Carter was sitting. "Carter, what are you doing out here?"

He looked up. "Did I wake you up?"

She shook her head.

"I just couldn't sleep," Carter replied, as she looked at him.

She sat down next to him, and took a hold of his hand. "It must be jetlag."

Carter smiled. "Yeah, maybe that is the reason."

She looked at Carter, and could see that there was another reason for his insomnia. She wanted to ask him, but wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it. "Are you sure that there's nothing you want to talk about?"

He looked at her. "I didn't know that I was missing for five days. The last thing I remember was trying to help this little boy when we heard the Mai Mai coming. But when Luka found me, I thought that it was the same day. I was so happy that the little boy was going to get help, but he was dead," Carter said, as tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Abby put her hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault."

"But that is the problem. It was my fault. He was my patient, and I couldn't save him."

She looked at Carter. "Sometimes even though you tried your best to save a patient, there is nothing you can do. Just remember John that you aren't alone," she said, as she hugged him.

"I know, I'm not," Abby put her head on Carter's chest, and started to fall asleep.

The next morning

Carter woke up and heard Abby talking on the phone. "It's so great that he is home, Susan. Thank you for helping me when I was really down about Carter, and for finding me when I cut my hand."

Abby turned around, and saw Carter standing in front of her. "I got to go now, Susan," she said, as she hung up the phone.

"Good morning," Abby smiled.

He walked up to her. "So Susan was a great help during this ordeal with me?"

"Were you listening to my conversation?" Abby laughed.

"I just heard the end of the conversation. I know that it must have been really hard for you to think that you lost me."

Abby took a hold of his hand. "Susan was there for me from the beginning. Everybody at work tried to help me, but Susan was the only one who was really there for me. She tried to get me to think positive during this whole thing, but there were times when all I could think was negative, that you were gone, and I was never going to see you," Abby paused for a moment. "One night, I bought a bottle of vodka," she turned to face Carter, and could see the expression on his face. "I wanted to forget about how I was feeling, so I poured myself a glass, but in the end I couldn't drink it, the only thing that happened that night was me being clumsy. I dropped a wine glass, and when I went to pick it up, I cut my hand."

Carter looked at her, and put his arms around her. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this all. But I'm home now, and I'm not going to leave again."

"I know that you are never going to leave again," Abby smiled. "Why don't we stop talking about everything. Let's go spend some time together, I missed being with you."

"Don't you have to work?" Carter asked.

She looked at him. "Kerry gave me a few days off. I guess she thought I might want some time to spend with you, I wonder why," Abby laughed, as he put his arms around her.

Carter smiled. "Why are we sitting here, let's go out."

Later that night

Abby was sitting on the couch watching a movie, when she turned to Carter. "Do you want something to drink?"

Carter smiled. "Sure."

Abby walked into the kitchen, and was getting a glass out of the cupboard, when she saw the empty bottle of vodka. She touched the bottle.

"Is everything okay?" Carter called out to her.

"I'll be there in a moment."

She grabbed the bottle and threw it in the garbage can. It was like she wasn't going to need it anytime soon.

She turned around, and looked at Carter sitting on the couch._ It was great that he was home, and okay. We went through a rough path, but we came through it okay_, Abby thought to herself, as she walked into the living room, and put her arms around Carter.

To be continued!!

Author's Note: One more chapter to go.


	10. Chapter 10: A Year Later

**Rough Path******

Chapter 10: "**A year later"**

Abby was sitting on the couch when Carter walked into the living room.

"Good morning," he said as he leaned over and kissed her.

She looked up at him. "Morning."

"How long have you been up?"

"Since about five."

He touched her stomach. "Is she keeping you up?"

Abby shook her head. "No, it's not her. You don't know what today is, do you?"

"No, I don't."

Abby took a deep breath before she spoke. "A year ago, Luka called me and told me that you were missing in Africa. I don't know why I still remember that day, but I guess it still sticks in my mind, I still remember how close I was to losing you."

"But you didn't did you?" he said, as he grabbed her hand. "You are my wife now, and you are expecting our child, you will never lose me, let's forgot about that day."

Abby then remembered the day that Carter and her got married.

_Flashback._

_8 months ago_

_"I can't believe that you are getting married today," Susan said, as she looked at Abby in her wedding dress._

_"Yeah, just a few months ago, I thought I was going to lose John forever and now I am marrying him," Abby smiled._

_"I guess fate was working for you two," Susan said, as she put on Abby's veil._

_Abby turned to face Susan. "Thank you for staying positive during that time. I couldn't have done that without you," she said, as she started to cry._

_"Don't cry, Abby. Not on your wedding day," she said, as she grabbed a tissue, and gave it to her._

_Suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was her mom._

_"Abby, it's time," she said._

_Abby turned around to Susan. "I'm really doing this, I'm marrying John Carter."_

_"If you don't get out there right now, he might think you don't want to," Susan laughed._

_Abby smiled. "Let's go," she said, as she followed her mom and Susan._

_She saw Eric standing near the aisle, and smiled. He grabbed her arm._

_"Come on, it's time for your wedding." _

_She looked at Carter at the end of the aisle and couldn't stop smiling._

_"Okay, let's do this, Eric."_

_She was marrying the man of her dreams, and she couldn't be happier._

_End of Flashback._

"Where were you just a moment ago?" Carter questioned.

Abby looked at Carter. "I was thinking about our wedding day."

Carter put his arms around her. "You looked so beautiful. I can't believe that we are married for months now."

Abby sat down on the couch. "I still remember the day that you proposed to me, it wasn't even a week after you returned from Africa."

Carter smiled. "I guess my experience in Africa made me realize that I didn't want to live another day without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I know. When you proposed, I didn't even need to think about my answer. You were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Abby said, as she opened it.

"Susan!!" she exclaimed, as she hugged her.

"I just thought that I would come by and see how you are doing," Susan said, as she walked in, and saw Carter sitting on the couch.

"I guess I'm not the only one who remembered what today is."

Susan smiled. "You got me. I looked at my calendar, and remembered what today was. I wasn't sure if John was at work .. I didn't want you to be alone today."

"You know you are a great friend," Abby said.

Carter stood up. "I'll leave you two alone to talk," he said, as he leaned over and kissed Abby.

He grabbed his jacket and keys when Abby called out to him.

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"I love you," Abby said, smiling.

"I love you too," he answered, as he walked out of the apartment.

Susan looked at Abby. "So how are you really doing today? I know this is a really hard day for you."

Abby turned to face Susan. "I'm doing well actually. I woke up this morning, and I looked at Carter sleeping peacefully and I couldn't believe how lucky I am to have him. He is not only my husband, but he is the father of my child. A year ago today, I didn't think I would ever have any of these things with John."

Susan nodded. "I know, but you have stop thinking about the past and think of the present and your future," Susan replied.

Abby put her hand onto her stomach. "I know I have to think of this little one and stop thinking about what happened last year. It is over."

Abby stood up. "Would you like something to eat?" she asked, as she went to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"No, I'm fine," Susan said, as she joined Abby and sat down on the stool.

Abby turned around. "So, enough about me, how is your love life?"

Susan smiled. "Chuck and I are doing great."

Abby smiled. "I never knew someone who got married, annulled it and then started to like the guy and date him."

Susan laughed. "That's me. I never do what everyone is doing."

Suddenly the baby kicked. "Did she just kick?" Susan asked as she walked up to her.

"Yeah. Do you want to feel it?" Abby asked, as Susan put her hand on her stomach.

"This is so amazing. I can't believe that you are going to be a mother. Let's just say I was surprised when you told me that you were pregnant, three months after you got married."

Carter had just walked into the apartment and heard Abby and Susan talk about the pregnancy and remembered the day that Abby and him found out that they were going to have a baby.

_Flashback._

_"Are you sure you are late?" Carter asked._

_Abby looked at Carter. "Of course, I am."_

_"Are you saying that we're going to have a baby?"_

_"I don't know for sure, John. But I know the signs."_

_Carter then grabbed Abby's hand. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get a pregnancy test, and find out if we are going to be parents."_

_Abby smiled. "Are you sure you want to know?"_

_He smiled back at her. "Of course, I do."_

_"Okay," she said, as she got the pregnancy test out of the bag._

_"When did you get this?"_

_"I got it yesterday. I was going to do it, but I wanted you to be here," she said, as she put her arms around him._

_"Then do it," he said._

_She walked into the bathroom, and a moment later, she came out._

_"We have to wait a few minutes before we can find out."_

_Carter grabbed her hand, and smiled. "Whatever happens, I'm here with you."_

_"I know you are." _

_A few moments later_

_"I guess I should go see if we're expecting or not," Abby said as she walked towards the bathroom._

_Carter followed her and stood outside of the bathroom, waiting for the result._

_She looked up at him. "I'm pregnant."_

_End of the flashback_

"John? Are you going to stand there or are you going to sit with me and Susan?"

He smiled. "I heard you and Susan talking about your pregnancy. It made me think of the day that we found out together that we were going to be parents."

"I still can't believe it," Abby said, as she put her arms around Carter. "But I'm glad that it is with you."

{{{

Months later

"Congratulations , Abby and John. You have a healthy baby girl," the doctor said, as she handed the baby to Abby.

Abby looked at her daughter. _She is so pretty_, she thought to herself, as she kissed her daughter's forehead.

"She is so beautiful, exactly like her mother," Carter said, as he leaned over and kissed her.

"Thanks John, but I don't think I am that pretty after all those long hours of labor," Abby laughed.

"Of course you are."

"So what are we going to call our daughter?" John asked, as he took a hold of his daughter's tiny little hands.

"I think the name that we talked about a while ago fits her just perfectly."

"Well then, I guess your name is going to be Vanessa Carter."

Carter then picked his daughter up and walked towards the window. "I'm your daddy, and I love you."

Abby looked at Carter holding their daughter. She realized that the rough path was finally over, and they were going to spend the rest of their life happily together.


End file.
